Goodbye to my other grandma

About a month ago, we lost my grandma on my mom's side, and this week, my grandma on my dad's side passed away. Again, I've been taking it ok, but please pray for me and my whole family, especially my dad and his siblings. This all seems pretty quick, but like my mom's mom, my dad's mom had deteriorating health, probably even worse, so I think it was her time to go. I'll miss her.

I am not a serial killer

I made that last post just to spite someone. A friend and I were talking about this blog, and she told me that at one point she'd browsed my blog and couldn't find any signs that I'm a serial killer. Later that day, I just couldn't resist posting this. Note the fine print at the bottom that kind of blends in with the background. (The link in the fine print wasn't there at first, so it blended in even better then.)

I am a serial killer

I have a confession to make. I am a serial killer.

Actually, I'm not. I've explained this post here.

Not quite everything I believed in has lied to me

This post is inspired by the song "Where Are You?" by Our Lady Peace. They didn't sing this song at the concert I was at in July, but thinking about this song back then inspired this post. It just took me a while to get around to writing it. Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Hey you
Have you felt like this before?
You got style but ain't got soul
Are you happy now?
Are you happy, tonight?
Or did Punk Rock get it right?
Is there no future in sight?
Oh is it different now? Is it different?

Come up
Come up come on, come on
Where are you? Where are you?
I'm kicking and screaming
You're not listening
Where are you? Where are you?
Everything I've believed in, has lied to me
But this could be the best day, of my life
The best day of my life

eh you
Have you got everything you want?
Or do you want more than you got?
Is it different now? Is it different, tonight?
Or did Jesus get it right?
Or is the devil behind the light?
Are you happy now? Are you happy?

Come on
Come on, come on, come on
Where are you? Where are you?
I'm kicking and screaming,
You're not listening
Where are you? And where are you?
Everything I've believed in, has lied to me
But this could be the best day of my life

Ohhh sons and daughters,
Mothers and fathers,
Everyone's waiting for our luck to change
Sons and daughters,
Mothers and fathers,
Everyone's waiting, waiting

Cause this could be the best day
And this could be the best day
And this could be the best day, best day, best day

Come on
Come on, come on, come on
Where are you? Where are you?
I'm kicking and screaming
You're not listening
Where are you? And where are you?
Everything I believed in has lied to me
And this could be the best day
And this could be the best day,
And this could be the best day best day, best day
And this could be the best day
And this could be the best day,
And this could be the best day best day, best day of my life

For me, this song gets me thinking about my faith in God. I don't believe that everything I believed in has lied to me, but I've rejected some things that I used to believe. And maybe the times that I rejected those ideas weren't the best days of my life, but they were good. It feels freeing, and it makes it harder for people to control me by telling me what to think. A few ideas that I've rejected:

I've rejected the idea that the universe around us gives scientific evidence for God's existence.

I've rejected the idea that the Bible is infallible.

I've rejected the idea that God created each species separately, not from a common ancestor, or that God had to intervene in evolution to create the diversity of life that we see.

I've rejected the idea that the Bible has to be totally historically or scientifically accurate, or even infallible, to deliver a divine message.

I've rejected the idea that conservative politics reflects God's values better than liberal politics does.

I've rejected the idea that more church involvement, more prayer, or more Bible reading will automatically make a person happier and closer to God. (Or did I ever believe this one?)

Maybe sometime I'll list some ideas that I wasn't raised with that I have also rejected. What ideas that you were raised with (religious or not) have you rejected?

The funeral

My grandma's funeral was on Tuesday. She had picked these verses from the Bible to be read there:

"Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."--something Jesus said in Matthew 28:20

"Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life."--Revelation 2:10

And one of the songs she had picked was "Let Me See Jesus Only." I couldn't find the lyrics online, but here is the chorus:

Let me see Jesus only
Jesus only, Jesus only
Let me see Jesus only
Only he can satisfy.

If you get a chance to read the verses to this song, give them a read.

Goodbye Grandma

Some of you that know me may have heard that my grandma passed away on Thursday. I've been taking it okay, but I appreciate your thoughts and prayers for my whole family, especially my mom and my uncle who've just lost their mom.

Maybe we are a threat

For several years, I've subscribed to the Persecution and Prayer Alert from Voice of the Martyrs. Every week, they send news about persecuted Christians, and sometimes they urge their readers to write letters or emails to governments in defense of these persecuted Christians. Once in a while, I've written letters (but I guess it's been a while).

The Voice of the Martyrs website has some letter writing tips and I think they used to have some examples to follow, but I can't find any right now. In an email to a foreign government, I seem to remember saying something like, "The Bible teaches us to submit to our governments and obey the law, so Christians in your country are not a threat to your government," based on a sample letter I'd read. While it's true that as Christians, we are supposed to obey the law when it doesn't mean disobeying God, something about what I said didn't sit right with me, even as I wrote it. Maybe I'd already heard about how the church had been involved in bringing down communism, mostly peacefully, in Poland. Or maybe I realized that when people have a higher loyalty than their own government, that can non-violently undermine a government.

The more time that passes, the less I believe that Christianity is not a threat to oppressive governments. Sometimes I'm not even sure how it works, but when we serve a God who "opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6), oppressive people and institutions can't stand forever. And if God can conquer death by dying, maybe Christians can conquer oppressors by submitting to them while being loyal to God above all. (But that's easy for me to say, sitting here, experiencing relatively little persecution.)

Ironically, I'm probably less sure of God's existence than I was when I wrote the letter I mentioned.