Back in January I mentioned that I would be involved in starting a new small group Bible/book study at church. After getting it started a month later than planned and then meeting for a couple months, we decided to call it quits. We'd had some interesting discussions, but in the end it wasn't attracting people and we agreed that it wasn't really meeting a need in our lives. All of us were already attending the same "Discovery Group" (basically Sunday school) on Sundays, and some similar discussions were going on there.
So was it a waste? I don't think so. Since it was a smaller group than the Sunday one, I think we each got a chance to say more, and we probably got to know each other better than we would've otherwise. And even in failure, we've learned some lessons that could help in the future.
In a way, it's a bit of a relief to have Wednesday evenings free. One of my hopes in getting this group going was to help build a stronger sense of community among some people at the church and have a place where we're free to discuss what's on our mind and to grow freely, not just in the direction that certain leaders want us to grow. I think that is already happening at this church, so if we don't need Wednesday night to make it happen, we might as well spend more time with friends and family instead (including the same friends who went to the Bible study).
Actually, I've come to appreciate my church more over the last year. As I've dealt with doubts about God and developed somewhat more liberal religious views, I've needed to learn to care less about what other Christians think. While I haven't told everybody at church a whole lot and I haven't told anybody everything, it seems like I'm still accepted and not thought of as a second-class Christian when I do voice my opinions or talk about struggles. And sometimes other people have similar things on their minds.
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