It's been about a year since we decided to leave the church we were in. Soon I told my parents, who attend the same church. They were disappointed but supportive of us finding something that works better for us. Soon after that, they were at a meeting talking about some of the church's future plans. They gave me a sheet of paper they got at that meeting, not intending to pressure us to stay, but to just make us aware of potential changes just in case it would make us want to stay.
The paper had an outline that the pastor wrote up about where he saw things going with the church in the next few years. This ministry plan included stuff like starting small group Bible studies in various parts of the city, which is something that I would've appreciated. This was also part of efforts to reach out to other people. It also covered a bunch of other ideas. Something about this whole thing frustrated me. As I've said before in this series, my enthusiasm for reaching out to people through the church is near zero. Simply reading a "ministry plan" frustrated me, however good its intentions were. Maybe I'm better off attending church services but paying absolutely no attention to the church's other programs and plans.
I read that plan on a Sunday morning when we didn't go to any church. That morning, I went out for a jog to a nearby park in the river valley. Maybe I had been planning to go running before I started feeling frustrated, but running turned out to be a good way to vent the frustration. I ended up exploring off the beaten path a bit, ending up at a little ravine where the trail basically ends, or at least gets very narrow. I turned around and continued running, arriving home feeling like that was what I needed.
Why would something like that frustrate me this much?
In future posts, I'll start talking about churches we've visited.
3 comments:
This has been a super, super interesting series of posts for me. I have some questions though, related to both the search and a quote from a previous entry, which goes:
"My enthusiasm for community outreach through the church is near zero. The church still wants me to reach out to others. But why would I want to bring others to something that leaves me feeling this way? "
I am a little vague on what 'community outreach' in a church community means. I'm thinking things like...bake sales? Charity drives? Clearly, the average church attendee is someone who just attends church, not a pastor or priest or whatever. Is the average attendee expected to attend church and then later play a 'religious expert' role in the community? If there is such an expectation, is it implied or is it stated? Do they give attendees the tools to do this with, or would it be expected that this is not something that needs assistance? Is this expected to include the community at large (i.e. people of all faiths or lack of faith) or just the existing church community?
(Probably this is very obvious to people who do attend church. Sorry if this is a series of wildly stupid questions. :)
Well, I'm finally answering this comment. I'll take a stab at your questions:
Community outreach through a church takes various forms, although usually not about raising money for themselves or other charities. It could be anything from gimmicky evangelism ("Free unhealthy food! We hope you'll strike up a conversation and maybe we'll mention Jesus in it and maybe you'll come to church.") to helping out at a homeless shelter. It could mean helping run a youth group that puts on activities for teens and also teaches about the Bible. (I did this for several years, and by and large, I'm glad I did.) Sometimes the church focuses more on how we can have a good effect on the people around us outside of the confines of church programs (whether through helping with physical needs, evangelism, or a person's other needs).
I find that there is an implicit expectation that most people who attend church for a while will volunteer for some sort of church program that does this type of stuff. Some churches state these expectations more clearly than others. Lay people may not be religious experts, but they may do some teaching, leading Bible studies, etc. People also serve on church boards to manage the church's finances, property, programs, etc.
Churches frequently try to give people tools and teaching to do this stuff with, but it varies.
Usually, there is a hope that the church's programs will benefit the community at large, not just the church. (Sometimes the needs of the people in the church get ignored as a result.) There's not a strong expectation that the people who benefit will become Christians, but there's a hope that a few will.
For myself, I think part of the issue is that I don't trust the church to know how to meet people's needs all that well. Usually, they can figure out how to meet physical needs, but so can anyone else, although some would argue religious people are more motivated to do that. In theory, religious groups should be the best at meeting spiritual needs, but in practice I think that varies. As for other needs (ideas on how to improve various other areas of life), it's all over the map. I think they ignore science too much on some issues (like psychological issues, or like the few churches that run ex-gay programs).
One thing I want is a church that understands itself better, including what kind of needs it can meet well and what kind of needs it can't meet well.
That's a somewhat quickly-written answer. Maybe I'll think of more later.
Hey Alex, thanks so much still for your transparency and honesty about your thoughts.
I agree with so much of what you are saying and it frustrates me at times, especially as someone who has worked in/plans to work again the church. I love the church and yet acknowledge it has its flaws.
One thing I realized once about the church is that it is called the bride. If somebody came and started attacking my wife for all her flaws and issues I would be ticked. I acknowledge she may have issues but yet I love her regardless. In the same way Christ loves the bride (the church). All this being said, sometimes what we think "is the church" may not be the church but just an institution that we are fooling ourselves to think is the church.
Relating to the reaching out stuff, I am not a fan of the "fool you with gross food to preach at you" technique. But if it were not for the church (or para-church organizations) the world would be struggling. The church has led the charge for much of the way for caring for the poor and destitute in the world. A lot of the NGO's in the world have a Christian background and are changing lives through their love. The organizations that do this best though work with other groups to help the whole person not just the spiritual side. What good is a "saved" person if they are still hungry or going through post traumatic stress because they were a child soldier?
As I read the Bible Jesus came to save the whole person not just give us a ticket out of hell. I think we have minimized the message so much that we really don't know what the real message is anymore.
Keep digging in man and keep asking tough questions, its getting me to think lots and challenging me in many ways. So thanks.
Andreas
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