Sort of an explanation

Some of you might be wondering why I posted something in late February entitled "Making me a better person?"  I know one friend of mine was wondering.  Maybe I can shed a bit of light on the question.

I'm not sure if I can actually give a coherent answer to why I posted that.  Do I agree with the quote?  At least partially, but I hesitate to give it a full endorsement.  A simple explanation for posting it would be that it just resonated with me.  But if you want a more complicated answer, I'll give it a try.

The start of the quote I posted may have resonated with me because it's speaking against those who tend to reduce Christianity to a self-help, self-improvement system.  "Follow these principles and your life will be great."  It doesn't work.  But that's not really what the quote was about.

I think the rest of the quote resonated with me because it is an interesting way of articulating the mystery that the God who demands our complete devotion also loves us unimaginably much and offers to stop keeping score.  I don't know if the quote makes this mystery any less mysterious though.  The person who wrote that quote doesn't explain how people can "die" to themselves and give God control of their lives without caring about doing good things.  I don't know if that's a glaring omission or if he wants to leave that for everyone to wrestle with.  That question can take a lifetime of wrestling.  My friend said Christians "walk a fine line" between legalism and worldliness.  It probably looks that way, and sometimes we live like it is that way.  Really, it shouldn't be a fine line.  We should be excellent at both grace and good deeds.  We can go far away from both legalism and worldliness.  But this is part of that question that can take a lifetime of wrestling.  I sure haven't figured it out.  But I've seen glimpses of how good it can be to live unselfishly, to do what is good, to be free from guilt from the times we mess up, yet not use that freedom as an excuse to do bad things.  Maybe in this sense, Christianity can actually have many of the same advantages that my friend gave for atheism.  (She does make it sound good, doesn't she?)  The unseen deity has actually offered to stop "watching and judging our every thought, action, desire, and decision in order to determine our fate after death."  We can be compassionate because we believe in equal rights for the people around us, not just because we were told to.

Some of my friend's criticisms of Christianity are fair criticisms in my opinion.  When people say, "It happened for a reason," when terrible things happen, that bothers me.  When people use Christianity as an excuse to show hatred (while of course refusing to call it hatred), that makes me angry.  As for a few of the rules my friend mentioned, I'm not entirely sure if some of them are actually from God, but I do believe that if they are, God must have a reason for them.  It bothers me when people manufacture reasons for these rules though.

So I hope this makes some semblance of sense.  I started writing it a while back, then got writer's block, was busy with other stuff, and then finally came back and finished it.