Thursday, January 08, 2009

What men really want

What has every man wanted for the last 3000 years?

It's not looks...
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.

She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

--Proverbs 31:10-31 (NLT)

It's not cooking, cleaning, or sewing ability...
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows whats best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocation
Whos fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack
Shes playing with her jewelry, shes putting up her hair
Shes touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt,
And a loooooooooooooooong jacket

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
Shes touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt,
And a long, long jacket

Nanananananananananananananananananananananananananananana

I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At citi bank we will meet accidentally
Well start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cup holder arm rest
She wants a car that will get her there
Shes changing her name from Kiddy to Karen
Shes trading her MG for a white Chrysler Le Barron
I want a girl with a short skirt,
And a loooooooooooooooooooooong
Jacket

Nanananananananananananananananananananananananananananana
--Cake
So what do these two ideal women have in common? Strong business sense.

3 comments:

Luke said...

I really thought you were going to have the lyrics for Weezer's "No One Else", cause that's a great song.

Alex said...

Actually, I didn't know that song. I just listened to it, and it's pretty good. But I only considered serious songs for this post.

Premee said...

Dang. Out of the whole list, both criteria, I only get
a) I own a purple gown, and
b) I occasionally tour the facility.

Maybe I should have been born a man...